You can be kind to people and still be misunderstood. You can help someone and still become the subject of their criticism. You can do what is right and still be treated as though you have done something wrong.
One of the important lessons I have learnt through over 25 years of pastoral ministry, theological teaching, counselling and leadership is this:
YOU CANNOT CONTROL HOW EVERYONE FEELS ABOUT YOU, BUT YOU CAN CONTROL HOW YOU RESPOND TO THEM.
There is a popular Yoruba prayer:
“Ọlọ́run, dákun, gbé wa lékè àwọn abínú ẹni láìnídìí.”
In essence:
“Lord, lift us above the resentment, bitterness and unjustified hostility of those who bear ill will towards us.”
It is a prayer worth reflecting upon.
But as Christians, we must approach this subject with spiritual maturity, biblical understanding and emotional intelligence.
1. EVEN JESUS WAS HATED WITHOUT A CAUSE
Jesus healed the sick, fed the hungry, restored the broken and demonstrated the Father's love.
Yet some people opposed Him.
In John 15:25, Jesus referred to the Scripture:
“They hated me without a cause.”
If the sinless Son of God experienced unjust opposition, we should not assume that doing good will automatically earn everyone's approval.
GOOD CHARACTER DOES NOT GUARANTEE UNIVERSAL ACCEPTANCE.
But remember, not every criticism is persecution. Sometimes God uses correction to make us better.
2. NOT EVERYONE WHO DISAGREES WITH YOU HATES YOU
This is where many Christians need discernment.
Someone can challenge your opinion without attacking your destiny.
Someone can correct your behaviour without being jealous of your progress.
Someone can refuse your request without becoming your enemy.
SPIRITUAL MATURITY IS KNOWING THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CORRECTION AND CONDEMNATION.
Proverbs 27:6 reminds us that faithful are the wounds of a friend.
Before labelling someone an enemy, ask yourself:
Is this genuine hostility, a misunderstanding, constructive criticism or something I need to change?
NOT EVERY UNCOMFORTABLE CONVERSATION IS SPIRITUAL WARFARE.
3. NEVER ALLOW ANOTHER PERSON'S HATRED TO DETERMINE YOUR CHARACTER
One of the greatest dangers of being mistreated is allowing the experience to transform us into the very people we once criticised.
You were once compassionate, but now you are bitter.
You were once generous, but now you distrust everyone.
You were once peaceful, but now every disagreement becomes a battle.
Beloved,
DO NOT ALLOW SOMEONE ELSE'S WRONGDOING TO DESTROY WHAT GOD IS BUILDING WITHIN YOU.
Romans 12:21 says:
“Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.”
Forgiveness does not mean permitting repeated abuse. You can forgive someone and still establish healthy boundaries.
4. STOP EXHAUSTING YOURSELF TRYING TO WIN EVERYONE'S APPROVAL
Some people will misunderstand you even after you explain yourself.
Others may form opinions without knowing your story.
And occasionally, you may encounter people who genuinely wish you harm.
But your responsibility is not to convince everyone to like you.
Your responsibility is to walk faithfully before God, treat people justly, examine your own conduct and remain committed to your assignment.
YOU DO NOT NEED EVERYONE'S APPROVAL TO WALK IN GOD'S PURPOSE.
Galatians 1:10 challenges us to consider whether we are seeking to please people or to serve Christ.
There is freedom in knowing that your worth is not determined by public opinion.
5. PRAY FOR YOUR ENEMIES, BUT WALK IN WISDOM
Jesus said in Matthew 5:44:
“Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you.”
This is one of Christianity's most demanding teachings.
It is easy to pray for people who celebrate us.
But Christ calls us to a higher standard.
Pray for those who oppose you.
Refuse to repay evil with evil.
Where reconciliation is possible and safe, pursue peace.
Where boundaries are necessary, establish them without hatred.
YOU CAN LOVE PEOPLE WITHOUT GIVING THEM UNRESTRICTED ACCESS TO YOUR LIFE.
MY PRAYER FOR YOU TODAY
Heavenly Father,
Where I have been misunderstood, grant me patience.
Where I have been unfairly treated, grant me wisdom.
Where I have been wounded, heal my heart.
Where I have been wrong, give me humility to accept correction.
Where others genuinely seek my downfall, protect me from harm.
Do not allow bitterness, resentment or the desire for revenge to take root in my spirit.
Ọlọ́run, dákun, gbé wa lékè àwọn abínú ẹni láìnídìí.
Lord, lift us above every unjust opposition, resentment and hostility that seeks to distract us from Your purpose.
And above all, help us become more like Jesus Christ, even when people do not treat us as we deserve.
In Jesus' mighty name. Amen.
FINAL THOUGHT
YOU CANNOT STOP EVERYONE FROM DISLIKING YOU. BUT WITH GOD'S GRACE, YOU CAN STOP THEIR DISLIKE FROM TURNING YOU INTO SOMEONE YOU WERE NEVER MEANT TO BECOME.
What has life taught you about dealing with people who misunderstand or dislike you?
Share one lesson. Your experience may encourage someone who is struggling with rejection today.
Apostle David B. Ogunseyin
Founder & Lead Pastor
Prophetic Voice Restoration Global (PVRG)
Restoring Lives • Rebuilding Hope • Reviving Destinies
Related reading
- Forgive, But Should You Trust Again?
- How to Heal After Betrayal Without Losing Your Faith
- Signs You Are Loving Someone Who Is Destroying Your Peace
New to PVRG? Start Here for biblical teaching, prayer and restoration resources.
About the author
Apostle David B. Ogunseyin is an Anglican Priest and the Founder & Lead Pastor of Prophetic Voice Restoration Global (PVRG). His teaching draws on over 25 years of pastoral ministry, theological teaching, counselling and leadership.
Restoring Lives • Rebuilding Hope • Reviving Destinies